Dubai?? Part I

January 22-25, 2015

How in the world did I find myself here in Dubai?? It is absolutely phenomenal and it is quite fun pretending to be a first class citizen! Fo real dho dis be a rich hood yo.

Money money

Money be like G-money

Annnnd:

The Burj Kalifa, tallest building in the world!

The Burj Kalifa, tallest building in the world!

This extravagant trip would never have been possible if not for Lizzie’s sister, Rachel, who was kind enough to invite us to Dubai and also let us stay at her flat here. She is a flight attendant for Emirates. It is a fantastic airline. And, if you’re rich, you can ride 1st class for just 20,000USD. Not only was Rachel awesome enough to invite us here, but she also contacted a fellow flight attendant with Emirates to ensure our 100% enjoyment on the 15 hour flight from USA to UAE. Karim, what a great soul! He personally brought us our drinks, meals, (before anybody else) and a midnight hot tea with cognac. Such a gent. Thank you, Karim!

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A midnight cognac in hot tea from Karim

A midnight hot tea and cognac from Karim

Getting ready to land. So tired after a 15 hour flight

So tired after a 15 hour flight

Iranian mountains

Iranian mountains

That's a loooong yellow line

When to scale, that’s a loooong yellow line: 8,000+ miles

With a budget at just €75 for 10 days in the world’s greatest city (for exploiting cheap immigrant workers – it’s practically slave trade) Lizzie and I will be doing this: http://www.timeoutdubai.com/aroundtown/features/59637-25-things-to-do-in-dubai-for-dhs1-or-less. 25 things to do in Dubai for 1 dirham AED (like $0.27USD) or less! We can’t wait to tackle the list. But not without Rachel, my favorite flight attendant in the world. I still can’t believe we are here. Thank you so much, Rachel. (Check out her own blog about being a flight attendant for Emirates at thedubaidiaries.me if you’re interested!) This post includes just a few of an incredible series of adventures from the first 4 days of our 9 day stint in Dubai. I’ll keep it to mostly photos for you all, but a few anecdotes must be told! (Dubai Part II will include the rest.)

Lizzie and Rachel switching their photo faces

Lizzie and Rachel switching their photo faces

An amazing water show set to music at the Dubai mall. Beautiful!

An amazing water show set to music at the Dubai mall. Beautiful!

Dubaii, poo piiie

Arabian nights!!

Dubai sunset with smog and all

Dubai sunset with smog and all

Rachel's home. Not bad!

Rachel’s home. Not bad!

Burj Kalifa from the taxi

Burj Kalifa from the taxi

Dubai metro so retro

Dubai metro so retro

Everything is just so plush and fancy here: well posh.

Only the 100th Maserati I've seen

Only the 100th Maserati I had seen in the previous 24 hours

And that's how you read Exit in Arabic

And that’s how you read Exit in Arabic

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This is inside a metro station. Wah wah!

Getting a kite out of a tree at the Zabeel Saturday Farmers' market

Getting a kite out of a tree at the Zabeel Saturday Farmers’ market

Got the kite, and an additional bean!

Got the kite, and an additional bean!

Reprimanded Jarett...

Reprimanded Jarett…

This dude was so chill! He totally let me help him build some boxes.

This dude was so chill! Totally let me help him build some boxes at a fancy coffee shop.

It is really nice here!! But you spend, spend, spend, spend, and I don’t like so much financially supporting an artificial society built almost entirely upon both the breaking backs of slave labor and unsurmountable credit. Take for example, the tallest building in the world: the Burj Kalifa. It is said to never, leastwise in the anticipated future, be paid off.  That is, the most iconic feature of the Dubaiin cityscape will never actually be. Pretty good metaphor of the foundation of this futuristic city, which so well encapsulates the essence of imperialism. Bah, together we must find another solution.

On day numba three, Lizzie and I headed to kite beach. A plain white-sanded beach with kites. That is literally what it was. But all I needed was the sand, sun, and the ocean

She is wonderful, meh Lizzeh

She is wonderful, meh Lizzeh

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@ absolute home

Far right there is the Burj Al Arab. A 7 star hotel. ?????

Far right there is the Burj Al Arab. A 7 star hotel. ?????

I bet her 20 dirhams she couldn't. She did. Then she bet me the same. If I hadn't been so tight... I dove in the end! Cold water but so, so refreshing

I bet her 20 dirhams she couldn’t. She did. Then she bet me the same. If I hadn’t been so tight… I dove in in the end! Such cold water but so, so refreshing

Burj Al Jarett

Burj Al Jarett

That's another thing! The mosques are everywhere and every one is unique and incredible in its own way. Just like the Mormons, but with significantly more creativity.

That’s another thing! The mosques are everywhere and every one is unique and intriguing in its own way. Just like the Mormons’ temples really, but with significantly more creativity.

At the end of day 3, Lizzie and I joined Rachel and one of her flatmates, Kirsty for a huge gigantic crazy buffet! It was a wonderful gift from Lizzie’s father who was unfortunately unable to make it to Dubai and therefore the dinner. Even still, it was all you can drink alcohol. We enjoyed ourselves greatly! Perhaps because of alll the food we ate, the drinks mellowed out a bit. Maybe not for Rachel, though. Haha!

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A trolley as transport to dinner

IMG_8974Day 4 was infinitely wondrous! And it was so for the large number of activities to which we committed ourselves. First thing in the morning, Lizzie, Rachel, and I jumped out of bed and immediately made our way to a nice restaurant cafe near Rachel’s apartment. We drank cappuccinos, took a very good photo which warranted many an Instagram like, and took off to our next destination: old town Dubai!

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Old town Dubai was really amazing. While Dubai itself has only been a city for little more than 50 years (very young!), it still has some history. And we set out to find it! I had a silly image of Dubai having some strange Arabian history with lots of life and culture. The old town was the closest my imagination got to satisfaction. Here, we visited the Souks (markets) – both the spice souk and the gold souk – and of course stopped for a lunch break at Anus Bandar. This day was really quite great with many hilarious anecdotes. Check it!

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Natural Iranian Viagra

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We finished this eventful day at a rooftop bar, which felt like it was literally on top of Dubai. What a day! Can’t wait to see what the next 5 have in store. Until then, however, peace out and stay tuned soon for a more detailed Dubai Part II!

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About Jarett Bigej

"It is impossible to eat an ice cream cone in a masculine way."
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